Learning to Walk With God--A Brief Study
By Eliza Lynn

Print Format

"We are not ashamed to worship." - (Barbara Payne of Sycamore Temple Church of God in Christ.) We stand, stomping our feet, our bodies rocking to the organ and drums. Screams of thanks echo through the space, and I can't help but release myself to the whole and clap along, observing the communal essence of a worshipping so fervent it has powers to move those in close range.

I feel, in some senses, that I was led to study two different African-American churches in the Asheville area. As I think back on the choice I made, I realize that what propelled me was a need to find a space where I could worship the holy in a more open and sincere way than I've previously been accustomed. I yearned to be influenced by a faith which integrates the spiritual and the ordinary. I yearn to become a more fully spirited being, living in everyday life. While I did not initially know that these desires were motivating my research, they have quickly manifested themselves as a filter through which I am understanding my experience.

I had a huge drawing board of potential interest, and to find some sort of jumping off point, I let others guide me by acknowledging their contacts and sources. It was buzzed through me that there were fifty-seven different African-American churches in the area. While I recognize that to group all of these together simply because of common race might seem presumptuous, I have come to recognize a sustaining spirit that emits especially from those who have experienced a history of oppression.

We live in a society in which some continue to benefit and some continue to suffer do to an inhumane institution known as slavery. Though over a hundred years gone from physical form, the ramifications of three hundred years of torture, abuse and rape remain embedded in our common culture. What has manifested spiritually in a people that born of this heritage is one of illuminating trust and a remarkable ability to continue to be sustained through faith. Much of this comes from acknowledging Jesus as liberator and redeemer and the recognition that God claims the oppressed as His people.

If we can believe the New Testament witness which proclaims Jesus as resurrected and thus active even now, then he must be alive in those very people who are struggling in the midst of misery and humiliation. If the gospel is a gospel of liberation for the oppressed, then Jesus is where the oppressed are and continues his work of liberation there. Jesus is not safely confined in the first century. He is our contemporary, proclaiming release to the captives and rebelling against all who silently accept the structures of injustice. If he is not in the ghetto, if he is not where [human beings] are living at the brink of existence, but is, rather, in the easy life of the suburbs, then the gospel is a lie. The opposite, however, is the case. Christianity is not alien to black power, it is black power."-James H. Cone, For My People, pg33

I have gained an enormous appreciation for the safe, sacred space that I've been welcomed into by visiting the two churches included in my study, where Jesus' call to action is not ignored but imitated. I have felt an intimate love of the divine, that encourages me to allow the sacred to be as intricately a part of my life as those with whom I've met and interviewed.

Through my study, I have witnessed relationships with the divine that seem to be mystical in nature. By mystical, I mean, "Of, resulting from or manifesting an individual's direct or intimate knowledge of or communion with God through contemplation, vision, an inner light, or the like. [Something that is] derived immediately rather than meditatively, based on intuition, insight or similar subjective experience."-(Webster's Dictionary.)

Mysticism seems to me to be the most pure form of religious experience. Mysticism is built on a type of relationship with the holy that acknowledges that we are tied to the lifeforce; that we may be as tied to the divine as a nursing child to its mother. I believe that this fullness of religious and spiritual commitment can occur anywhere. In the following paper, I will examine this idea as I document what I witnessed from having visited two places of worship and conducting interviews with members of those parishes. The two churches I am documenting are Mount Zion Missionary Baptist Church and Sycamore Temple Church of God in Christ. What follows is a description of these experiences, which is then followed by a reflection and brief analysis of the information that I received.

Mount Zion Missionary Baptist Church

"Where every member is a minister and every minister has a ministry" 1 Corinthians 12:7; 1 Peter 4:10, (Mount Zion's motto)

I am greeted by an older gentleman whose calm confidence assures me as I move into the sanctuary of Mount Zion Missionary Baptist. Leafing through the bulletin, I glance upward. It feels as if I am in a beautiful ship where polished wood panels line and peak at a high ceiling. The church is deep and tall; there is a balcony and beautiful stained glass to filter the light. From overhead speakers comes a voice, and I am transported into another era, "We welcome our radio listeners to the morning worship at Mount Zion Missionary Baptist Church located at 47 Eagle street in Asheville, NC." Women in white uniforms are stationed midway through the pews. The church service begins with a procession which differs according to which group is ushered into the choir seats. Some mornings it is an all men's ensemble, black suits. Another morning, the women's voices move to the front, all in red. There seems to be a nurtured joy in the room, like a well thought out celebration waiting to begin.

At the front left corner of the sanctuary, a band is grouped together. Behind them appears to be a baptismal pool in green and blue tile. A banner hangs before the organ pipes with a seal that proclaims this church to have Christ in charge. The pastor, Dr. John H. Grant and other ministers move to sit in large chairs before the choir. We move through various segments of the service: singing, listening, reading, appreciating, praying. Everyone seems dressed in their "Sunday best." I feel no restrictions in participating. I feel welcomed and free to be myself. I am in the minority as a young white woman, but I feel few eyes on me that don't simply smile as our eyes lock.

The service is based in melodic rhythms that seem to pull all parts of the service into a seamless whole. The choir leads us and remarkably beautiful sound surrounds. The words might not be mentioned in the program, but the tunes seem common to most ears, and familiarity guides most into song as hands clap along and bodies rock in appreciation. As they are guided, some congregants remain standing or come to their feet as they are inspired. There are many pieces of music that are obviously well rehearsed and meant to be listened to, where soloists take the microphone and add their own personality and gifts to the worship song. Some songs speak of a gratefulness for all of the blessing acts of God. One song says, "One more day, I thank God just for one more day. The Lord has made a way." We also use a hymn book for at least one of the songs during the service. The sound of the singing is not a quiet cautiousness; rather, I feel free to explore with harmony in the multitude of voices. I hear my voice return to me with more precision and sheer ability than I'm used to experiencing in a church service. My voice is part of the whole and there is no reason to fear its volume, with each voice at its wholeness, still there is room for variety.

The musicians and the pastor experience a give and take during the sermon. There is a rhythmic response that accompanies the congregations' vocal "Amens" that seem to substantiate the pastor's words, building an atmosphere of sincere attention, where all parts point to the subject. Our bodies, voices, and minds are all devoted and so therefore not distracted. This call and response is called "whooping," according to Dr. Grant. It incorporates a "musicality of delivery" where the preacher is essentially singing.

Dr. Grant related that this worship style is satisfying because it is stimulating to both the emotional and intellectual needs of the congregants.

The children in the church are welcomed to the front with the singing of, "Jesus loves the little children, all the children of the world." I was most touched when a teenager from the congregation led the children's sermon. He, being a football player, gathered the children first into a huddle and cheered for God as his team might before starting a game. He went around and asked the children to state what they have to thank God for. The answers were touching and the adults nodded with secret smiles as the children replied, "...we can thank God for waking us up this morning...for the food on our table...for the shoes on our feet." Often during these sermons, the minister leading will ask the children to repeat a part of scripture that will be used later in the pastor's sermon. The children are dismissed with the same song.

This is a time of teaching which is undertaken with the intent to balance the emotional and intellectual needs of the congregants by speaking to both their heads and hearts. The Missionary Baptists do not use a lectionary, a calendar which has the gospel readings already picked for certain Sundays. Rather they are allowed to use what is needed or desired by the parish. Dr. Grant is currently moving through the Gospel of Matthew and so is using different verses as the topic for each Sunday's sermon. He related that this leaves him and the church with a lot of room for spontaneity which can have both its advantages and disadvantages.

At Mount Zion, they are currently in the midst of what they call the 6 & 4 campaign. This stands for raising $600,000 in four years. This is part of their outreach ministry which will go to fund community buildings and increase their ability to minister to more people. During the offertory, we are reminded that each member is to donate at least $2 to the campaign. At a recent service, Dr. Grant announced that though it has only been three years, they have already surpassed the mark of $450, 000 which was the goal for this amount of time. Cards are passed to visitors which you are supposed to put into the collection plate as it passes. They ask for information from each visitor and then respond as is called for. There is room to ask for the pastor to call you or for people in the church to pray for you. I recently received a letter from the church thanking me for being in attendance and welcoming me back. This must have been in direct response to the visitor card.

Once a month, communion is served. This is done by first blessing the wine and bread and reading the story of the last supper. It was strongly emphasized in both churches that it calls judgment onto yourself to take the bread and blood without truly recognizing the implications of this act. It is to be taken very seriously, to remember Christ and identifying yourself with him. At the beginning of this segment of the service, all of the deacons and officers of the church come forward to form a long line. Communion is first served to them, then is passed through the church while everyone remains seated. The wine is in little plastic cups carried in a large serving tray and it is passed between neighbors with the bread.

At the end of the service, the pastor will recognize that someone has come to the church's attention who feels led to become a member of Mount Zion. That person will then walk down the aisle from the back of the church to the front with a sponsor of sorts. The sponsor introduces the new member and then asks if they would like to say anything for themselves. There is a prayer for the new member and then the pastor calls for one of the deacons to come and be a mentor to the new member. Symbolically, the two walk back to the seat of the new member, assuring him or her that they are walking together on this path.

Sycamore Temple Church of Christ in God

Praise God in his sanctuary;

praise him in his mighty heavens.

Praise him for his acts of power;

praise him for his surpassing greatness.

Praise him with the sounding of the trumpet,

praise him with the harp and lyre,

praise him with drums and dancing,

praise him with the strings and flute,

praise him with the crash of cymbals,

praise him with resounding cymbals.

Let everything that has breath praise the Lord.

Praise the Lord.

As I enter with a friend, we're met with smiles and looks of quiet surprise. We sit near the rear and a little child leans over the back of a pew, around her mother to look. A woman in the row behind us leans over the pew and puts her arms around both of us, introducing herself as a sister in the church and welcoming us both with purity. A young woman with small children immediately takes us under her wing and guides us nearer to where she's sitting. I read the bulletin and at the bottom of the list of events for the day, it states, "Order subject to change according to the Holy Spirit." We're early to the 11:00 devotional service at Sycamore Temple Church of Christ in God. The room is light and warm, the windows are opaque glass that shed lots of light and produce a sense of intimacy and privacy. The children are giving reports from a Sunday school class. As people filter in to the service, it's obvious that this is a second home for many. I watch the interactions between friends and the closeness that is apparent exudes the love that I have appreciated on each visit to Sycamore Temple. The church is very multigenerational, with many young children and fewer elders. The dress of the people in the church leads me to believe that this is a diverse and accepting place as people are both dressed in ornate gowns and blue jeans.

On another more recent occasion, the service began with the choir processing while the band in the front right corner accompanied their steps. The choir was composed of mostly women dressed in all white and a few men. They took their place in an alcove at the very front of the church. When they opened their mouths to sing, my spirit lifted to match the elevation of their ethereal voices that lit the morning with power and honesty. Throughout the singing, the band (mostly an organ and drum set) play along. Some shake blue tambourines that have gold crosses on the heads. This service is highly participatory. During the worship section of the service, teams of singers come to the microphones and gather in groups to lead different songs. This point of the devotional service can include different kinds of testimony that is sung in the same style as Dr. Grant's "whooping" sermons. People might come forward from the pews to take the mike and recount some way in which God has blessed them through their week.

Throughout this time, the minister or singer leading the group continues to incite the people to really worship, to stay on their feet. Last week, a woman on one of the teams of singers talked about how even if we can't sing or can't dance, God gives us hands with which we are able rejoice in rhythm. While she was saying this, a woman had moved to the front to dance without the restrictions of the pews. Something seems so therapeutic about having a space where one's entire being is allowed to release and worship, cry or sing. On another occasion, a man came to the front and danced with every ounce of his body. Some of the men in the congregation formed a circle around him to protect him from hurting himself. In an interview with Pastor Payne, he said that the church gives so much importance to music through instruments and song because of Psalm 150.

Sycamore Temple seems to be very centered on the family and especially on preserving the children from all the influences that come at them in today's world. The first Sunday that I visited Sycamore, a member of the church who was a pubic school teacher came to the pulpit to speak about how the African-American children are treated unfairly in schools, that teachers would send a child to the principal's office for acting out slightly and that the child would receive the same punishment as if they had initiated a fight. She spoke about how important it is to be a part of the school system, to join the PTA, to have parents from the African-American community represented.

The next of the services that I visited had as a part of worship a time to acknowledge and recognize the children. First, many of the children who had maintained A's and B's were recognized as having been on the Honor Roll. After those names had been read, children remained standing whose names had not yet been called. As they spoke softly of their own success, the rest of the congregation applauded for each child. The leader of this section then expressed that the value of having improved on a report card from D's and F's to C's was just as exciting as being on the Honor Roll. She then stated that it was equally important to be acknowledged by the teachers as being perfectly behaved as it was to have perfect grades. It truly seemed that all children were acknowledged or inspired. This community seems to call for accountability and responsibility.

This portion of the service is devoted to preaching on the passage from scripture for the day and its application to daily life. This appears to be a time of renewing commitment to the community through the teachings of the pastor. One Sunday, the pastor and his wife were away at a conference, so another minister gave the word of God. His title was "Saving our children from the Enemy". The enemy, in this context is very multi-layered, but incorporates much of what might be seen as the manifestations and actions of the devil. The minister spoke of television and influences from other youth in schools as having a negative impact on the children which seriously impacts the choices that they make later. He spoke of ways to protect them from these influences by relying on the church to be a center of support: to have the children play with other children from the church or to come to the church in the evenings to have something to do. He said that he saw people questioning their sexual orientation, and that it just wasn't right to have women walking around looking like men; women should wear dresses and look like women. (In another sermon, the pastor reminded us that in the Garden of Eden it was Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve. There seemed to be a very strong prejudice against homosexuals, and no one was skirting the issue, it was well talked about.) In the sermon about saving our children, the minister went on to talk about disciplining the kids. He maintained that it was totally essential to raise them with a strong belief in God and a healthy fear of their parents. To do this, he suggested that you have to hit your children to get them to act right.

This enemy that he spoke of took the form of the greed that is interwoven into our culture and spoon fed to our children through TV. Children's disrespect for their elders is just the beginning of what will become complete chaos.

This seems to be a crucial part of the service, where the physical support of the church is shown. The pastor or minister would recount scripture that refers to the importance of the act of tithing, giving ten percent of one's total earnings to the church. At my most recent visit to Sycamore, a minister asked for everyone, regardless of whether or not they had brought anything to give, to come down to the front and at least touch the table in not only an act of communal support, but especially so that those moving towards the front would not have to walk over anyone on their way. The children held blue buckets for the loose dollar bills and change, while adults held baskets for the tithes.

The communion experience was very similar to Mount Zion. At Sycamore, communion is not a weekly event, and so seems to hold a lot of significance. The pastor read the story of the last supper and seemed to highlight the fact that if you were not prepared spiritually to take on the responsibility of taking the body and blood, then it would be wise to remain seated. In this case, row by row, as the pastor called them, people made their way to the front to receive communion. After a blessing over the whole group (during which time the elements were distributed) the group took them into their bodies simultaneously.

At the first service I attended at Sycamore, there was a time for those who felt that they had not yet been "saved" to come to the front of the sanctuary and publicly give their lives to Jesus Christ. The minister asked if any had fallen in their commitment to Jesus and needed to be renewed. Many moved tearfully to the front where what appeared to be deacons or elders in the church awaited them to collectively pray while those of us still seated continued to sing a song that said, "Lord, prepare me, to be a sanctuary, pure and holy, tried and true." As we sang softly, those in the front, with their arms wrapped around one another, cried out to Jesus to help them continue to be diligent with their faith. This is a very moving section of the service. Before this time we had been on our feet stomping and clapping in ecstatic worship. The correlative response to that kind outpouring of joy seemed to be the taking of a serious and sorrowful glance at the state of one's own actions. In a more recent service, a theme was being washed by the blood of Christ to be renewed. During this experience, the pastor commented on the fact that many of the parishioners came forward every week to be saved and that this wasn't really what was needed. Rather, we needed to be washed over in the blood, cleansed at our very centers. He then asked that those who felt they needed to be washed over to come to the front. Again this seemed to be a very profound aspect of worship, where people were allowed to look at themselves holistically and assess their needs publicly.

Both Mount Zion and Sycamore have been enormously welcoming towards me. Both churches invited me to participate in what Sycamore calls a fellowship luncheon. I've felt blessed by the warmth that I've received through this study.

My greatest question in this project has simply been about faith. Where it leads people, how they experience it and what form it takes. I conducted three interviews, one of which included both Pastor Payne of Sycamore Temple and Barbara Payne, his wife. The other interviews were with the Pastor of Mount Zion, Dr. John H. Grant and a parishioner, Mrs. Yvonne Dendy. What follows is a reflection on the interviews as a whole, especially looking at the emphasis on living within the love of God, relying on the presence of the infinite to guide and comfort.

When I asked Mrs. Payne if she had a main truth by which she led her life, she answered, "Being led by God in everything that I do...simply relying on the wisdom of God. The scripture says, 'In all thy ways, acknowledge him.' In anything that I do, I go to God in prayer." Mrs. Payne related that in her family, going to God is a priority. That instead of depending on the human will to get them through, they pray about everything and maintain a crucial obedience to God. By putting decisions in God's hands, she finds that things fall into place.

Pastor Payne replied to the question by saying that his first desire was to be Christ-like. He related that Christ is the ultimate example of how to live and if one can become like Christ from within, it affects all those around them. People experience the Christ-like essence and are drawn to it. A strong point for Pastor Payne seemed to be that once you have committed yourself to following Christ and his teachings, your old ways of being are no more, "If any man be in Christ, he is a new man, old things have passed away."

I asked the pastor about why we suffer and he said that "God wants us to put our total trust in Him. If we suffer with Him, we'll reign with Him. My suffering has actually brought me closer to God. Through suffering, I allow God to mold and shape me. Like I'm in the potter's hands. So God wants for me to be a serving individual, but for me to get there , I had to go through fiery trials , which tried my faith, and when I came out, you know, I came out a pretty good old fellow." The two recounted the hardship that occurred while trying to have children. The doctors told Barbara that she could not carry children, and after many miscarriages and a still birth, it seemed they were right. Then she became pregnant with twins. They account this miracle to God and their solid faith. They suffered with God as they endured the trauma that one of their daughters had to have repeated surgery on her brain. She recovered brilliantly despite all odds.

One of the pillars of the Payne's faiths is their marriage. They feel that God led them together and the commitment of their relationship grows by day as they learn how well they match one another. They attribute the stability and excitement of their marriage to God.

In my interview with Dr. John H. Grant, he spoke of the communal nature of God's desires for us. When working in the community of a church family, a way to move in a harmonious way with others is to recognize their spiritual gifts. It is about this idea that he wrote his doctoral dissertation Spiritual Gifts: Spiritual Endowment for Service in the Church(1987). He says that "every believer has at least one spiritual gift. That gift serves as a sign post which helps to direct believers into certain ministries in church. [In doing this, we] avoid wasted energy and unused potential." This seemed to imply that God has a purpose for each of us within spiritual communities and these are directed by being present with the reality of what it is that each of us has been blessed with.

When talking with Mrs. Dendy, I was completely captivated. She radiates her enormous belief in the power of the God that to her is "Daddy," and to whom she is "Daughter." She recounted her coming to God not as an external experience bringing about change, but fine tuning her listening to what God wanted her to do. She found that once you followed the subtleties of God's direction, everything falls into place. "Be anxious for nothing, if I take care of the birds, don't you think I'll take care of you?" In her every action, she thanks God and attributes all that she is and has to Him. She has simply followed, and her faith has developed into such a magnificent trust that she just prays for an opportunity to minister to others and share God's love. She moves throughout the country working for different Christian coalitions, one being the United Church Women. She says that often she doesn't know why she is going to different places, but in staying constant to following God's will for her, she goes without knowing a soul there or having a place to stay. All of this is a part of God's plan for her as she understands it. By following the will of God, she has watched $6,000 in debt get repaid in one year. Her only son suffered an illness when he was nine years old that no one could explain. She said that all she could do was to give him to God, knowing that she was without control or ability to help. After this release, her son recovered.

She asserts herself to be born again, and recognizes the power of Jesus. It is something that is unexplainable to her, it just is. She said that Jesus has no gender or color. That nothing can restrict Jesus to these human constructs, and so all are included in the living Christ. She says that Jesus is not linear, but circular. She does maintain that Jesus is the only way to life and to God. That until you know Him, you are dead. She said that the Old Testament "tells us that we are imperfect, inadequate, made to be dependent on the breath of God."

To her, prayer is most essential, and she tries to maintain what she calls a prayerful attitude. So that prayer is not separate from daily actions, but rather intricately woven into each interchange throughout the day. She lives to make God proud and to be a living testimony ("no test, no testimony") to God's truth.

This experience has been enormously positive for me and what follows are my reactions to what I have received.

In my interview with Dr. Grant, he mentioned that the Baptist church is not limited to a liturgy that is repetitious in nature. The services that I attended had a flair for the spontaneous that reflected the natural and sometimes even ecstatic responses that individuals and the congregation as a whole would experience. Perhaps this is part of what has drawn me closer to this tradition. My background is in the Episcopal church where the liturgy follows similar format from week to week, month to year. Though I honor the tradition in which I was raised, I have benefited from worshipping in a more assertive manner. I am overwhelmed by the sincerity throughout the services of these two places of worship. And while it is the charismatic element draws me, I have also felt isolated when I recognize that I don't share similar beliefs that are expressed through revelatory sermons.

I have left the most recent services in a state of slight bewilderment due to the subject of the sermons. Pastors from both of the churches I attended spoke against homosexuality repeatedly. Today, Dr. Grant preached on Matthew 19, looking at the verse that says that "God made them male and female." He said over and over again: "God did not make them male and male, or female and female. He said that he wasn't condemning anyone, rather, he was just preaching from the Bible. He said that it was his only source. This line of thinking is something that I feel directly opposed to, and so it is difficult for me to accept this dogma with the same authority as I take the love of God. I fear that the love of God that is preached has become exclusive.

In experiencing the emotional and spiritual impact that these services have had, I am welcomed to a reality of God whose embrace is literal. I have been allowed to leave my insecurities at the door and stumble into communities whose arms have been open wide enough for me to glimpse through them to God. Through my interviews, I have been inspired to live a life which believes in moving mountains. I have found a mystical essence renewed within myself by being admitted to relearn how to worship. I am very thankful for this opportunity, and know that it is through this immediate interactions between faiths that we can come to learn from one another and expound our own understandings of the divine.

Throughout this experience I have had enormous fits of passion where I have been touched so deeply, I question all that is before me. There is no conclusion, there was really no question, just an enlightening experience which I pray will continue to blossom. There are now more areas in Asheville where I can feel at home and enjoy community. I thank the lifeforce many call God, Allah, Elohim, Goddess, Tao and others, for directing my path and helping me to see with clearer vision. I pray that we may be reconciled of all forms of hatred, greed, and alienation. In all this, Let the church say, Amen. Amen.

Bibliography
Books:
Cone, James H. Black Theology and the Black Church. The Seabury Press, New York, 1969.
Cone, James H. For My People. Orbis Books, Maryknoll, New York, 1984.
Moseley-Edington, Helen. Angels Unaware: Asheville Women of Color. Home Press, Asheville, NC, 1996.
Proctor, Samuel Dewitt. The Substance of Things Hoped For: a Memoir of African- American Faith. G.P. Putnam & Sons, New York, New York, 1995.
Visits To Sycamore Temple Church of Christ in God:
September 27, 1998
November 8, 1998
December 6, 1998
Visits to Mount Zion Missionary Baptist Church:
October 11, 1998
November 1, 1998
November 15, 1998
December 13, 1998